blueskybrightly

In Completely Unrelated News, Maybe

I have been twinging for cigarettes constantly, since I've been here. This is particularly sucky since I have been quit for over five years... the English smoke a lot. I have also never seen as many gum chewers in a single place (especially true in Newcastle). 

I have been muttering under my breath that "London is shit" for a wee bit, now. I feel out at sea, really. I don't know if this is due to a lack of companionship, being homesick for a home that doesn't exist, etc. What I know is that I hate moving from place to place to place... and that London most assuredly doesn't feel like home. My skin & lungs don't do well here, either. 

What I know is that I'm going through another cycle of depression, and that doesn't make things any easier. What I know... is that when I return to the States, it'll be a challenge to find work that's not the same fecking thing as I was doing before.

What I know is that food is still a crippling crutch. What I know is that I am being far too much of an ass on this lovely trip, and my time here is running out. *sigh*

Bellyache, bellyache, bellyache.
blueskybrightly

On How to Be Happy for a Minute

Happy Easter, peoples!

I just ate a lovely meal that was prepared by one of the blokes who's staying at the long-term hostel that I'm currently at (thanks to me getting my wallet lifted straight out of my handbag on a very full tube last Saturday, I didn't have enough cash on me to pay for the flatshare I'm supposed to be in, and the replacement cards haven't come yet)... He called it "feeding his twelve apostles." I call it damned fuinny & very sweet. 

So far it's been a love-hate relationship with Eng-er-Land... keeping up with trying to blog or post has been a real challenge; at the end of a full day, I want nothing more than to sit on my ass & do nothing but sit at a pub or such...

But all in all, I am happy here. I can't say that I feel like this is "Home" either, but it certainly feels much better than where I came from.

Cheers!
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    prelude in f by wilktony @ hitRECord.org
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blueskybrightly

And On a Complete Aside

I haven't been here in a while...

So I'll just not care & nonchalantly make a random comment that someone is thinking about me right now, and it feels like the bloke who was on duty last night (who was lounging about in the reception area just now). Scruffy & lovely. Maybe it's just about that time of the Whatever, but I swear that all of the good-looking men are over here, not back in the States. pfffft. 

Ah Well, not looking. Well. Looking to my heart's content, hah! But not looking to stay with anyone, as tempting as that might be. My freedom is important to me, right now. Or Blahhhhhhh. Whatever nonsense just crapped out me mouth, OY.

I'm having a lovely time on Newcastle...  I think I'm needing to come back. There's so much more than I thought that there was going to be! Holy Shit.

Oh yeah.. I'm in Eng-er-Land (she said, nonchalantly). Land of some of my ancestors, and a whole bunch of people that I likem so far.

I dunno if I'll call it home, so much as I'll call it comforting.

And there it is.
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blueskybrightly

Writer's Fodder: Bare necessities

Oxygen
Love
Music


Arghh! 

My travel plans keep on changing. So frustrating, yet ridiculously awesome. Folks tell me to just focus and pick something & do it. 

They are speaking to someone who takes great delight in imagining successful (though impossible) beginnings, endings & in-betweens.

Idea #1: Take a bus for the fuck of it to Chicago for a week or more for St. Patrick's Day, go to Cleveland just for an art exhibit, then hit New York for my trip out to... wherever.
 I want (very badly) to go to Tel-Aviv, but the sheer amount of crapassery going on there right now makes me very afraid for their  people, let alone myself. Never mind that I don't know Hebrew. I'm working on it. The letters are confusing when they change certain things. Don't even get me started on sloppy penmanship, argh! 

Idea #2 Involves Eng-er-Land, of course. Renting a flat there, and bopping over to Paris, perhaps, before dashing off to Scotland. There's the whole unsolved mystery of "Where am I going to stay?" bit, but... well.

Idea #3 Move somewhere warm & recover from MinneSnowTa. Find a job & save as much money as I can, so that I can go to Eng-er-Land for longer. If Israel hasn't been nuked off the planet, I'll visit on the way back, after I've had an opportunity to learn a bit more Hebrew. 

Idea #4 Say "Fuck it!" and just do something completely random & unexpected, like taking trains/buses across the country for no apparent reason other than to crash one major museum in every state.
 Also, on a completely unrelated note, it's really too bad I'm not interested in going to Mexico. The money would certainly last longer. *sigh* 

This is my brain, being far too depressed for its own good.

On the Upside, today I gave my notice of intended resignation at job #1. My last day will be the 25th of February, unless I need to leave sooner for traveling purposes! Hooraaaaay.

 I'm actually getting tired. Stop the presses, it's 2:00am & I'm finally sleepy...

 Cheers ♥






Name three things you can’t live without.
blueskybrightly

Or Not

Well, Chicago is out. I was really excited, but Oh Well. Plan "B" shall move forward, instead.

So, once I get my shit together (quit laughing), I will instead simply leave for London earlier than I was going to.

I am seriously thinking about a short stay in Tel Aviv first, but we shall see what I have for sheckles!  All I know for certain is that I have until the end of December to figure it out... I think. Cheapest airfare is through mid-March! I may have to buy tickets earlier.

It is odd to think that I'll be leaving with a backpack with clothes & sundries, my computer bag, 3 cameras, my wallet... and my iPod. That's it, and that's almost all I'll have. All of my belongings, save for a few boxes of things, will be gone.

Terrifying & liberating, all at once.

I heart celebrating the year of the Midlife Crisis a year early :)

 
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    hitRECord artist: phonotek
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My Mamma

Down the Road Blindfolded

Well. Long time, no anything! 

If you really want to know how I've been, just stop by hitRECord dot org sometime. Leave a message here if you want my username there. I write really bad poetry, become far too enthusiastic about every little thing, and generally cause harmless mischief & mayhem. 

My News for the Moment: I'll be moving, come March 2012. I'm abandoning ship, and at this point, I don't give a fuck. I'm going to pretend I'm 21 (since I'll have just turned 39 by then, of course) & take a very small amount of money abroad, and stay there for as long as possible (hopefully 4-6 months., but I still have to save money to move back, boo)... Unless I happen to meet my Prince/Career Charming & am somehow able to stay there, I'll have to return to the States. I will not be coming back to MN unless my Mum is very ill; I will be moving to California or Florida if I possibly can. I am fucking tired of being cold.

The tentative plan at this precise moment is:

1. Spend St. Patrick's Day weekend & following week in Chicago.
2. Take a flight out to... wherever I'm going, by the 21st (see explanations below). 
3. Gate1travel still has unbelievable deals on travel abroad, with accommodations, and some of the cheaper fares to either Scotland, , London or Paris leave on the 21st of March.... so I might just fly out & stay at the hotels provided, and spend a week just getting my bearings. I think I could stay in a hostel for a few days, if necessary, as I am also planning on renting a flat while I stay in London/Scotland... maybe even Paris... I have a lovely friend in Scotland, with whom I will be visiting, and Geoff, if you haven't given up on my navigations, I would love to meet up with you, too :)

So. That's that. As I like to say, "I'm changing the channel on this fucking soap opera."

Cheers.
blueskybrightly

Happy Death Day, Nicholas

 Nine years ago today, my best friend & sole (younger)  sibling died due to complications of congestive heart failure. He was 26.

 I am still as empty without him today, as I was without him back then.

 I miss you, O' brother mine...