You were older then
Older than what my eyes could ever see
I only knew to embrace
Cannot hold you any more

Ugh, not at my best. Had some sort of reaction from food or environment yesterday, and theeffects have lasted through this morning. This is becoming a chore.

I am running out of steam! So tired all day, every day. No end to pain all day, every day. I think my body is beginning to do the equivalent of sagging desperately; I suppose if it thinks it can not work, I'll have no choice but to take a break & take care of it.

Alas, I will simply push until there is no more to push.

I have been having strong thoughts about my brother, the past few days. I imagine I should take a clue and sit down to talk with him... crazy nuts or not. It is terrible to still feel the empty space, so long after he's been gone.

Cannot manage to muster gumption to post every day, and I feel kinda sad about it.

 Today, I feel like shit. I am sore form head to toe... did not sleep well, and am very aware of various stages of what I like to call "synaptic narcolepsy." Not functioning well.

So here is my UnPost: it's a conspiracy theory! What better way to experiment with potential bioweaponry than to put the shit in our food? What's the easiest way to distribute this? Fast food, and faster food. Hamburger. Pork. Chicken.

 You have no idea, the conspiracies lurking in my brain... I'll have to type them up... just so I can annoy the shit out of everybody, if nothing else.

 Cheers

 Noooo. It's getting worse. It's creeping into my lungs. My nose is running, I still have a far-too-throaty voice with soreness, I ache all over, and I can't keep warm. Noooo.

 "Well, why don't you get a vaccination or something?" Well, why don't you go get a shot of some shit that you're allergic to? Pblllthht.
 I can't drink enough hot toddies for this. I feel like crap, and I need to get over it soon. Pfooey!

 Pursuit of Happyness: The credit card thing should be resolved sometime soon--  I'm sending in all of my supportive "I already paid this debt!" paperwork, today.

 On the gray side, I am feeling shitty again. I wasn't feeling good Thursday, left job #2 early that day because of it, and ironically (as my coworkers were all happily exclaiming over how much better I looked), I feel bad again. *sigh* My throat is all scratchy & sore, my chest feels tight & breath is a foreign thing, and it I feels like I have a temp.  Plus, I am so sore all over... :sobbing:: I am tired of this! Pfooey!

 Is there some sort of recurrent flu? Allergies? Both? I look back & see I was feeling really shoddy earlier this month, too. Great. Sometimes it seems that I am seldom healthy. It is so damned sad! BAH.

 Anyway... if I can just keep going... I have Thursday-Saturday off. Thursday will be spent with a friend... then mum is coming down, but at least I can just curl up & sleep. 

 Cheers & All

PUSH PUSH PUSH PUSH PUSH!

I can do it... if I make it through today, I won't have to work until tomorrow afternoon.

Ahoy Cap'n, there be rest ahead!

 Bummer.

 I have been up most of  early morning, until now,  with horrible gastrointestinal issues, and of course I cannot call in... one of the many downfalls of being a supervisor. *sigh* I am afraid to eat anything, and as usual, I am HUNGRY.
 I am tired as well, seeing as how I didn't manage to crawl into bed until midnight anyway. At 2am, my stomach felt like it was buring from the inside out, and cramping. Nice. Haven't been able to get much rest, and it's all I can do not to suck down gallons of water, I'm so thirsty.

Pfooey. Symptoms fit in with botulism. Time for minty things & water with salt & sugar...

Thanks, Universe. You suck.

 All the bullshit excuses aside, at least my dentist is honest when it comes to telling me that I have NO CAVITIES!

 Unless of course, it's all a ruse and he gets more money for bigger cavities. Or root canals. Good Hannah & her snapped garter, I ain't thinking about it, nosirree.

 Cheers & All

 Well, dang-- this kind of an adventure certainly sounds like... an adventure! A self-fly safari. Gosh.
 
 I would be impressed if I could "simply" learn how to fly. My body probably wouldn't cooperate, though. I respond negatively, too readily, to the smallest of air pressure changes-- and my ears feel like I'm being stabbed with an ice pick (recurrent and vicious ear infections when I was young actually caused some permanent hearing loss & other issues). Not good.

 I had a dream that my boss at job #2 named her new baby Clark Kent. Beats the Sam Hill out of me. I tossed & turned pretty much all night, and am nigh exhausted. Same goes for the past couple of nights... this stupid-arsed weather is really screwing me up.

 I am sluggish & more or less feeling like shit-- I didn't think I had typical/common allergies, but the past month or so, with all of the weird weather changes, I think I have to admit that I must have simply developed some allergies. DAMN. This is ridiculous. Something is most definately incorrect, and I don't have the usual symptoms of a cold besides lethargy, scratchy throat, soreness. Fricking Hell. I'd better get something into my system, pronto.

 And now... Now I think I need to go do something. I don't have to work until 2:30, and I'm trying to decide what I should do with my day, as I currently feel a bit lousy. Hmm. Let's grab an allergy pill, a cuppa from Black Sheep, and drive some more...

 Cheers & All

 Grrr, arrrgh.

 I have a cold. Sunofabitch. I am going to have to get down & dirty with fighting colds this year, at this rate.
Hell wit dis! I'm going to eat so much fruit, then garlic, onions & chilies, I'm going to BECOME Mexican food... I refuse to be sick all winter, yet again. Hell's Bells, it hasn't fully descended into Autumn, yet. *le sigh*

Grrr, arrrgh. I'm going to go on a drive, instead. Pffft.

 Corporate is sending troops from other stores to cover our store-- over 3/4 of our staff is going to Harvey's funeral, counting the folks who work nights. All but a handful of our morning staff is attending-- this is not particularily useful if none of the remaining employees are cashiers-- on a sale day.

 Thank you, Corporate. You will be there when we need you the most.

This has been a very, very rough ride.

And my bloody hand still won't work right. Bah.

However, I'm about to have a lovely breakfast, so hopefully that will boost things in the right direction.

I will also be able to catch the last few hours of the festival at St. George's Greek Orthodox Church. If you live near St. Paul & like Greek food & festivities, this is not to be missed. Location is: 1111 Summit Ave., St. Paul. Hours are from 11-6 today.

Also, Happy 1st weekend of Renaissance Festival, for those of you attending! I will not be able to attend until the last Sunday, more's the pity. Have a couple of horns of mead for me!

Cheers & All

 I would much rather be sleeping... by fire, if possible. *Raineth peers around. Nope, not anywhere near it, le sigh.*

I am short-tempered & rather irate, as of late. This is the time when small things make me lash out. There is always anger at the surface, but verily I do strive keep it in check.

If I can make it until Sunday... I found out that I have an unexpected day off. It's a bad thing when "a day off" makes you wonder if you'll be feeling well, or up for some entertainment. *sigh*

Cheers & All

 Thank you for coughing and hacking, I now have the beginnings of what you had.

 Ugh, not feeling good. I'm running a low fever, pretty much ache all over,  & I slept quite poorly. To add insult to injury, it's still overcast & shitty out, too. Pbblthhthht.

 Feels like Autumnal rains.

I'm crabby, and want to go back to sleep. *sigh*

 Oh, pfooey.

  I feel fricking awful. I hurt all over (even my damned hair hurts!) & my stomach is still bad. I am beginning to think it's a strain of the flu.
Come to think of it, even though I don't get the yearly shots, I am guessing that once again, the flu shot will arrive too late for some folks. Dur.

 Harvey is still at hospital... this does not bode well, and makes everyone at job #1 even more edgy & anxious. We are also missing a second manager, due to an injury. The combination doesn't do good things for team morale. Although I am a good supervisor... I am not duct tape.

 The bad feeling of things going or about to go awry is still with me. It's not nearly as bad as yesterday evening, but I haven't heard from anyone (I will be calling Mum from work), and that's just not a comfortable feeling. Out of sync and into the toilet!

 Going to go get ready for work... blargh.

 Well, that's it.

 I would have cleaned more, but it's just not happening. Quite frankly, I'm also bloody well sick of cleaning, after two weeks straight of it. Bleah!

Sad to say, that barely scratched the surface. I am an organized slob. I don't grow critters on plates or such, but I just let stuff pile up. There's nobody else here to say "Hey, you, pick that crap up!" so... it just goes & goes. Stuff gets misplaced. Lost. Neglected. Ho-hum'd. Now?

Oh sure, totally forget that it takes the patience of many small gods (of which I am not one) to clean this place... Oy. I am expecting a guest this Saturday, and I was going to try to be all impressive. Hmmm. Well. At this point in time,  I have only tomorrow morning left to clean; my work schedule changed abruptly, and that's that. 
 I will have to settle for a clean bathroom, mostly organized spare bedroom, no dishes (or few dishes), no britches lounging about, and a well-rested Raineth. I mean, really... My house can be spic & span, but that's not going to fly if I'm a totally crabby, tired bitch. I am horrible when I am crabby.

 Besides... mum is coming down on Sunday, and I have that day & Monday off. At long last, I will be able to go back to Schaar's Bluff! I missed a lot of photo opportunities, and the peace that is there for the taking. Aaaah, I can hardly wait.

 I'm actually going to call it a night. No, really. I am. I can get up earlier in the morning & tackle some stuff. Mostly... I just want to rest. I have not been feeling well, and I refuse to be ill this weekend.

 Cheers & All